Dear Best Friend,
A part of me feels like I should write your name, but then another part of me feels like if you ever read this, you'd know I was talking about you. Let me first start off by telling you that I really do love you. We've been friends for a really long time. You know so much about me and I'd like to think that it's the same vice versa. But lately, I've found myself dreading your texts. I never tell you about my problems because you always turn the conversation around to be about you. And you're never short of problems and issues. You're supposed to be the person that I can confide in when things are wrong or bad and I feel like I can't do it. I used to be the selfish one of our relationship and that's changed. How does a friendship work when both people are selfish? That doesn't leave a lot of room for give and take when we both just want to take. That's why I don't respond all the time. I'm tired. Maybe it's payback for me being a shitty friend. I can admit now that I used to take advantage of you, but I don't know if I'm capable of dealing with your crap. I'm sorry.
You've found people to replace me with. You tell me this all the time. But I haven't replaced you. I'm lonely down here. I have no friends that are my own. I don't even have a job anymore. And yet I can't tell you these things. You don't care. So I keep them to myself. I tried to tell my dad yesterday that I think I'm depressed and he told me I wasn't. He didn't listen either. That seems to be a common theme in my life right about now.
The worst thing is that I'll never tell you this. You'll probably never read this either. So I'll just keep on pretending that I'm ok. That I'm fine. That our friendship is fine. But it's not, and I'm not either. But you'll never know.
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